The Road to Inner Peace

How do we gain inner peace? What does it actually mean to have inner peace? Is it even possible in this fast-paced, hectic world we live in? I believe we can all experience inner peace, perhaps not all of the time, but at least for some of the time.

Think about a time when you felt totally at peace, when there was nothing you had to do, no one to please, and no stresses. It may have been when you were on holidays. Or having a day off work. Or maybe it was when you were surrounded by your loved ones having a meal together. I experience inner peace when I let go of my kid’s problems (for the fifteenth time!) and detach from my own problems and simply sit and read a good book and drink a cup of tea. I also know inner peace when I go for my morning walk and focus on the beauty around me. Inner peace comes and goes throughout my day, as the outside world intrudes upon my inner world.

Inner peace is about protecting our inner world from the onslaught of problems, stresses and confusion from the outer world. It is about holding our inner space stable, regardless of what is happening to us or around us. It is not allowing our thoughts, reactions and emotions to de-stabalise our inner space. But how can we not allow outside influences to affect our inner world?

 It is a process not a final destination. We start by recognizing when we have lost our inner peace. We know it when we are feeling in turmoil, our heart is beating fast and our stomach is full of butterflies. We know it when we pull the covers over our head and stay in bed all day. We know it when we keep reaching for that cream bun or glass of wine. That is the time to ask ourselves: “What is it? What is causing you to loose your inner peace?” Then we do one or all of the following:

1. We detach: We do this in love not spite, hate, anger, or bitterness. We let others own their stuff. We let them deal with their own problems. We let them live in turmoil if that’s what they want. We walk away from it. We take some deep breaths and we go into another room, or for a walk, or a drive or to visit a friend. We don’t get caught up in the tornado that others have created. We see the storm beginning and we walk away. We tell the person we care, but we need to go now. We set others free. We stop controlling. We stop thinking we know best. We let them go. 
2. We accept what is: Sometimes our peace is lost because we want life to be different than what it is. But guess what? What is, is. You can’t argue with reality. You can’t fight what is there in front of you. You can try. But you only get more disruption to your inner peace. So, try something new: try accepting that life is the way it is right now. Accept it. Accept people for who they are. Accept your boss or your partner or your kids for who they are. Don’t try to blame and accuse them for your lack of inner peace. Instead, simply accept them. They are who they are. Does yelling and battling with them change them? No, it only makes you more upset. You are only responsible for yourself and changing you. You need to also accept yourself for where you are at right now. It’s okay if you yelled and lost your cool. It’s okay if you are not perfect. You are human just like the rest of us and trying your best to get your needs met and to avoid pain. The best way to avoid pain is to accept what is. 
3. We let go: Once we accept what is, we let it go. Imagine a dark dirty cloud full of your turmoil, whatever that is. Then release it from your grip and let it float away into the heavens. Let it go to the universe and allow the universe to deal with it. Keep saying: “Let it go.” And see how that inner peace floods back in. 
4. We thank the universe: “Thank you God for every situation I find myself in.” How can we be grateful? Well, everything is a lesson. Our best teachers are those who trigger us off. They hold the golden keys to our personal growth. Life is about growing, healing, evolving, becoming more whole as human beings. So, be grateful, even for the negative experiences in your life. It simply means the universe has not given up on you! 
5. We problem solve: Sometimes it’s appropriate to look at our situation and find a solution to whatever is creating turmoil. 
6. We take several slow deep breaths and repeat a mantra to ourselves: “all is well” or “peace.” 
7. We write about what is causing the problem. Get into it. Say what you mean. Write until you have got it all out of your system. Then breathe and relax. Let it go. Go for a walk. Make a cup of tea. Sit and listen to some music. Oh, and destroy the stuff you wrote down. It’s not fit to be read again. Throw it away. Burn it. Rip it up into little pieces. Flush it down the toilet. Get rid of it somehow.