Barb Aasen - Love and Relationships

Barb Aasen
Inner Peace

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Inner Peace

Love and Relationships

We will never love others until we first learn to love ourselves. When we seem to be loving others, it is mostly a conditional love based on what the other can do for us. Love is often attachment. I am attached to you; I want you; I need you; please don’t leave me; please meet all of my needs; please fulfil my desires. This is not love. Love is giving fully for the good of the other; I want you to be happy; I want whatever brings your highest good; I don’t need you (for I am whole within myself and could live happily if you were gone); I promise to meet my own needs (and not burden you with their fulfilment); I promise to live my dreams, desires and follow my bliss ( and not expect you to know what these are or to meet these for me). Love takes responsibility for itself. I can only love you when I fully love myself.

If I come to you from a place of emptiness, unfulfilment and unhappiness, I will want something from you (“make me happy”). This then gives you responsibility for my happiness. And because you are also coming from a place of emptiness, you will not be able to meet my needs for long. Your own needs will cry out for fulfilment. Conflict ensues. This is not love. So much of what we have called love, is just not love.

So what is love and how do we love ourselves? What does this look like? Most people will say that they can love certain parts of themselves but not their negative traits. I say, until you love every part of yourself, you are not living in wholeness. You will continue to draw people to you who hold the same negative energy that you deny in yourself until you acknowledge and love this part of you. The people in our lives are there to shine a light on our souls. We will love people who reflect the beauty in us; we will dislike those who reflect our dark side. Until we embrace both, our lives will reflect the inner conflict. This is why loving ourselves fully (good and bad parts) is one of the keys to peace and harmony. And loving ourselves in this way automatically leads us to loving others. Can you see that others are in the same boat as you? Everyone wants to be accepted for who they are, warts and all. Once we accept our own warts (and all), we will become more open to accepting others and their warts (and all).

If we only knew how incredible we are deep down within our souls, we would not have an issue with loving ourselves. We think we are the stuff that covers our souls. This “stuff” is all the conditioning and all the negative splats of energy that have marred our souls to such an extent that we can no longer see our purity and beauty. We are divine beings! Yes, human, but first and foremost, divine spirits in human vessels. Once we accept this truth, we then enter a space of high self-worth, and it is then and only then, that we will attract others into our lives who also have high self-worth. The key to having good relationships is learning to love ourselves.

Meditation: Sit quietly and focus on your breathing. Go inward to that space within where authenticity resides. This is your true essence. See yourself as the universe sees you: pure, beautiful, divine. Breathe into your heart, the love centre of your being. Breathe in love. Fill your heart with Divine love. You are surrounded by angels who are sending love to you, directly into your heart. Feel this pulsating love as it beams into your beautiful heart centre. Imagine the angels surrounding you in a circle and looking upon you with such honour and love. You can see the love emanating from their eyes and you can feel their love emanating from their hearts to your heart. Sit in quietness for awhile and absorb this energy of pure love. This is who you are. This is who others are. We are all love at our core.

Retreats in Bali

Retreats in Bali

*Journey to Your Soul (April 3-8, 2012)

If you want to become aligned with your soul and fulfil your highest purpose, then this is the workshop for you! Has your life been so focussed on others that you have lost touch with the deepest part of yourself: your soul? Would you like to re-connect and make peace with this part of you? Do you sense you need healing and cleansing of some old patterns, behaviours or memories?

*Manifesting Your Dreams (April 16-22, 2012)

Is there a dream bursting to come alive within you? Have you wanted to do something, complete a project or manifest something big in your life but not known how to start the birthing process? This workshop will empower you to manifest the dreams within your heart. Even if you don't fully know what these dreams are, the workshop will help you to listen to the still small voice within and find the passion that has always been there, often suppressed and forgotten.