Finding Your Inner Critic’s Voice

Your inner critic is that part of you that discounts your positive traits and accomplishments and focuses on your weaknesses and flaws. He keeps your negative beliefs going. He calls you names, puts you down, blames you when things go wrong, compares you with others, pushes you to always do more and better (to be perfect), tells you others don’t like you, advises you not to try something new because you’ll probably fail, warns you to be wary of nice people because they will probably hurt you, use you or want something from you. He keeps you from getting what you really want in life. His voice may sound familiar, like a parent, teacher, older sibling, or grandparent. The problem with the inner critic is that he is never satisfied. (I have used the masculine for the inner critic because the majority of inner critic’s have a dominant male energy about them. Of course some inner critics can be females, especially if you had a dominant mother as you were growing up.) 

In order to find your inner critic’s voice, answer the following: 

1.     When do you get angry at yourself or put yourself down? What situations always bring out that critical voice? 

Examples: 

I get angry at myself when I make a mistake. 

My critical voice always comes out when I fail with my diet. 

2.     What does your inner critic say to you at these times? How does he beat you up? 

Examples: 

Making a mistake: “How could you do that? Didn’t you check it? You’re pathetic!” 

Failed diet: “You’re never going to lose that weight. You have no willpower. You can’t even get past 3 days without eating chocolate. How pathetic!” 

3.     Was there anyone familiar who used to say the same or similar things to you when you were growing up? Or perhaps certain people still say these things to you now? 

Examples: 

When I made mistakes as a child, I got yelled at by Mum. I remember once when I was 10 years old, I left my bike at the park and Mum yelled: “How could you do that? It’s too big to miss. You are so careless.” I was grounded for 2 weeks. 

Dieting was a big thing in our house. Mum was always on a diet. I recall her telling me I better stop eating chocolate before I turned into a beach ball. Dad used to call me his roly-poly princess.  

4.     How would your Inner Critic look if you had to draw him/her? 

Examples: 

My inner critic would look like a mean witch who always pointed her finger at me. 

My inner critic would appear like the Devil, horns and all. 

 To find ways to free yourself of your inner critic, see Combating the Inner Critic