Barb Aasen - Being a Good Parent to Yourself: A Self-Parenting Script

	Self-Help for Inner Peace, Happiness and Self-Esteem

Being a Good Parent to Yourself: A Self-Parenting Script

So many of us did not receive the kind of parenting that is conducive to wholesome adult living. If we did not feel loved unconditionally and supported completely, we may suffer as adults, demanding from those around us the love and support that we so desperately desire. But other adults are not here to be our parents. We need to look after ourselves and if we missed out on some vital parenting, then it is up to us to do that for ourselves.

I have found this self-parenting script to be very useful for instilling an inner mother and father within yourself. First, you need to write down some words that describe your ideal mother and father. They might be things like: strong and supportive, loving, kind, fun, a good listener, available. Second, think about the words you would most like to hear from each parent when you have had a bad day (“Everything will work out fine, don’t worry”) or when something negative happens to you (“I’m here for you.”) Once you have the script completed, you can either have someone else read it to you or you can read it into a tape player and re-play it while you sit or lay quietly in a meditative state.

The Script

Make yourself comfortable in a chair or on a bed. Close your eyes and take 5 deep breaths. Centre yourself. Now, I want you to imagine 2 people standing in front of you, one slightly to your left, the other to your right. The person on your right has all of the traits of an ideal mother: she is warm and loving, caring and giving; she listens to you and gives loving support. [add the descriptive words you have used for a mother].

Shift your attention to the person on your left. He has all of the traits of an ideal father: he is strong and caring; he is always there for you to protect you and love you. He helps you with problems, big or small. He is a solid rock who gives you strength. [add your descriptive words here].

Now imagine that both figures walk behind you until each is standing just to the right or left of your shoulders. Feel their energy. Lean back a little in you chair until you can feel them sinking into you. Allow their energy to fully melt into you, into your heart. Feel them within you. Feel the warmth and caring and love from your mother. Feel the strength and love from your father. They are a part of you. Imagine them saying some positive things to you [add the words you would most like to hear].

Now imagine deep down inside of you, maybe in your stomach area, a little child, curled up in a ball, alone, sad, worried, helpless…..This is your inner child. Imagine your inner mother and father somewhere in your chest area. Imagine them reaching down with warm and loving arms and embracing your inner child. Give to your inner child all that he/she needs right now. Take several minutes to allow yourself to nurture and parent your little child. He/She desperately wants your love, your care, your strength to help her through each day. Listen to him/her and give them what they need right now. Tell Her/him that you love them. Tell Her/Him that you are going to take care of them. You are going to be there for him/her. Remain in this place of care and love for several minutes. Then slowly come back to the room where you are. Feel the chair beneath you. Open your eyes.

Being a Good Parent to Yourself

Take responsibility for your inner child today. Be the parent she/he needs and wants. Begin to give what she/he needs. If your inner child is worried, scared, hurt or alone, be there for her/him and speak soothing words of refreshing calm. Imagine your parent self looking at your child self and saying the things you need to hear. See the article, Inner Child Exercises for ideas on how to be a good parent to yourself.

Barb Aasen

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