Seven Universal Life Lessons

We are all here learning important life lessons, evolving into wiser, purer human beings. As we learn our lessons we feel happier, lighter, more expanded, yet more humble. We recognize that everyone is on a journey to wholeness and enlightenment and that journey is not easy, but fraught with obstacles, hindrances, and problems, big and small. It is in the overcoming of these things that we move on to another level, until eventually we reach, what many have called “enlightenment.” We all have a few lessons that are unique to us. For example, the lesson of Saying No  or learning how to set clear boundaries (see My Personal Boundaries). There are also several universal life lessons that all humans must learn on this journey of ours.

Lesson 1:Learning not to judge.

We have no right to make a judgment of anyone, including ourselves. We do not know what the other person is learning on their journey, or what they are here to teach us on our journey. Sometimes the most annoying, frustrating person in our life teaches us our greatest lesson. It takes a lot of sand and grit to create a pearl.

When we look at others and judge them, we are judging ourselves. They are mirroring what is going on in us. When we don’t want to accept the shadow side within ourselves, we point our finger at others: “Look at her! How can she do that? How can she be so selfish?” By projecting our hate and judgment outwards, we avoid and deny the reality inward.

So, let go of judgments. Set yourself free. As you reign in judgment, you will feel free. Each time you make a judgmental statement or have a thought about someone else (or yourself), just remind yourself to let it go. Replace it with silence or a positive thought or statement. See how it makes you feel. At first it will seem strange, but as you break the habit of judging, you will feel lighter, freer and more positive and loving.

Lesson 2:Learning to Love.

See the spark of light within yourself and every person you meet. This is our soul/spirit within. We were all spiritual beings before we chose to come to earth in human form. As spiritual beings, we were and are exquisite. If only we could catch a glimpse of how amazing we are in the spirit! Try looking deeply into someone’s eyes and see if you can sense their soul. The eyes are the window to the soul. The more you look, the more you will see spirit within. Whether it is the beggar on the street, a child playing in the park, or an old man in a nursing home; the beautiful, the deformed, the smart, the mentally disabled, the overweight, the anorexic, the schizophrenic…..whoever it is, whatever their shell, deep within them is a soul. This is what we are asked to love. It may not be easy to love the unkempt beggar, or the schizophrenic or the grumpy old man; look for the soul within them and love that. Recognise that they took on a difficult task, choosing to come into this world in their present form and live a life with obstacles and challenges that you or I do not have to endure. 

Lesson 3:Learning to Give (serving, helping, nurturing, teaching.)

We live in a narcissistic culture that prides itself on selfishness and greed. But we all know deep down that happiness comes from giving out. Even the wealthiest know the satisfaction that comes from giving to others. We all have talents, gifts and abilities that we can use to bring happiness to others. Whatever you do in life, do it with your whole heart, like you are doing it for a king. Whether it is a profession like nursing or teaching or engineering, or a menial job like garbage collecting or cleaning houses, give totally of yourself. You are important to the overall scheme of this world. All parts are needed for it to flow smoothly. What would we do without people willing to collect our garbage? How would we survive without those dedicated to cleaning the washrooms? Recognise that your role is important, valued and essential. Then give freely.

Giving freely does not mean enabling. Each person must learn his or her own lessons. If we jump in too quickly and save someone from the consequences of their behaviour, we are enabling. That is not helpful or needed.

Giving freely also does not mean martyrdom. Give out of a pure heart, not from a place of resentment or obligation.

Lesson 4:Learning to Forgive.

Leave the past behind. If you want forgiveness, then forgive others. I’m sure you have needed forgiveness at one time or another. You have wronged someone, hurt them or spoken harshly, treated someone coldly or turned away and then felt bad, guilty maybe, and wanted their understanding and forgiveness. Do the same for others. They are human too. Yes, there are situations when it is harder to forgive, like abuse as a child. But the opposite of forgiveness is holding on to anger, resentment and bitterness. Lesson 6 talks about negative thoughts and how they can fester within us and create illness. This is what you need to let go of. This is why forgiveness is necessary. The consequence to yourself is too great not to forgive.

Lesson 5:Learning to Live in the Present.

This moment is all we have. It is all that is guaranteed. The past is finished. The future is unknown. We have no control over either. Yet we waste so much time and energy worrying about the future and fuming about the past. Let it go. Live for this moment. Enjoy what is happening right now. Make plans, but don’t live for tomorrow. Live for today. As you wake up each morning, be grateful that you are given another day to learn more lessons. You are given more chances to get on track, to live more honestly and openly, to love more, and to give more. Then set your mood for the day, by holding your hand over your heart and thinking about 4 things that make you feel warm inside: the smile of your two year old, the roses growing in your garden, snorkeling in Maui, a hug from your mother. This is living in the present. Experiencing emotions. Loving others. Giving of ourselves. Being who we are meant to be. Living our truth. Noticing what is around us. Being grateful for all that we have. Knowing that all is well. If tomorrow doesn’t come for us, we can be ready for that, by living each day in the moment.

Lesson 6:Learning to Respond, not React.  

Do you get upset by what others say or do to you? When you feel hurt, angry, irritated or scared by what someone has said or done, do you say or do things to punish them? Remember they are your teacher. Your life is about you, not them. One of the hardest lessons to learn is how not to be affected by another person’s emotions. If someone is angry and lashes out at you, whose emotions are we dealing with? Theirs, right? Do you want your own emotions to be controlled by someone else? That’s what you are doing if you lash back with the same anger that was dished at you. Let the other have their anger. Do not allow anyone to stir up your emotions. You take charge of your own emotions and let others own theirs.  

What does it mean to respond, not react? Reacting is allowing our emotions to be dictated by someone else. Responding is thinking first and deciding from a higher self perspective how to be in different situations. If someone yells at you, your reaction would be to yell back. To respond would involve staying centred and reminding yourself that they can’t make you feel anything. Hold on to your personal power and speak from that place when you respond. Perhaps you say something like, “Please don’t yell at me. Let’s discuss this in a civilized way.” You become a master, not a victim. It feels so much more empowering.

Lesson 7:Learning to Focus on the Positive.

Guard your thoughts. Focus on the good, uplifting and positive in everything. Flee from negativity. If we only knew how powerful our thoughts were, we would be so much more diligent in what we think and believe. Quantum physics has demonstrated that if we focus positive thoughts on water as it freezes, the result will be beautiful intricate ice particles. Prayer is focused thought. Meditation, reiki, visualization are all based on focused thought.

Thinking negatively creates disease. Bitterness, anger and resentment show on a person’s face in wrinkles and vacant eyes (where is their soul?) and in their body in arthritis, heart attacks and cancer. Please, for your own health, let go of negative thinking. It is a habit that can be broken if you are determined to be free. It takes 21 days to change a pattern, so over the next 3 weeks try to change any negative thoughts into positive ones. Or simply notice when you think negative thoughts about something or someone and consciously say to yourself: “There’s another negative thought. Let it go.” Eventually, you will learn to think more positively. And you will notice a change on your inside: you will feel better, happier, lighter, and more buoyant. You might even laugh more. Perhaps you will live more in the moment. Experiment with positive thinking and see what happens. You just might be surprised.