5 Tips on Making Decisions

Do you struggle making decisions? Do you have conflicting thoughts rushing through your mind everytime a decision must be made? “If I do this, then this might happen. But if I do that, things could turn out worse. What should I do?” It’s the age-old question that tears at our hearts and minds. We want to know that our decision is the right one. We want to be sure that we are following the best path, the path to happiness.

We can get ourselves worked up into a frenzy trying to decide on certain life issues. So, what is the best way to make a decision? Here are some tips:

1. Brainstorm: Get out some paper and a pen and write down everything about the decision. Write the pros and cons, the “if/then” scenerios. Ask others for input and ideas and write these down. Then leave it for 24 – 48 hours.
2. Clear your mind. Go for a long relaxing walk, preferably in nature – the beach, the rainforest, the mountains. Try not to obsess about it. Simply enjoy being in nature. Recognise that life is bigger than one decision.
3. Sleep on it. Go to bed with the decision handed up to the heavens. Before going to sleep simply say out loud: “I have this difficult decision to make about _____. Please help me to bring clarity to it so I can make the best decision for me right now.” Then let it go. Have paper and pen next to your bed in preparation for any dreams, revelations, or ideas that form during the night. Even if they seem unrelated or silly, write them down.
4. Meditation time: the next day, set aside some time for the following exercise. Find a quiet place, become comfortable sitting on the floor or on a chair, whatever is best for you. Usually decisions involve two different possibilities. Focus on one of these at a time and imagine you have made each decision. Imagine how it would look, how your life would be, how you would feel, how others would be impacted. In other words, pretend in your mind that you have made the decision for one alternative, then swap. Some things to notice: how does each decision feel to you? Are you at peace with it? Are you angry, sad, disappointed, let down, depressed? Or are you uplifted, excited, happy, at peace? How does your body react when you imagine yourself in each situation? Do you feel any tightness in your chest or more of an openness? Do you get butterflies? Ask yourself: “If I do A, will it help me grow as a person and fulfill my desire to reach out to others? How about if I do B?” If you don’t already know it, try to find your purpose in life (see article: Finding Your Purpose). Know what you value, what is precious to you (see article: Values). Then any decisions you make should fit in with these.
5. Decide: Go back to your brainstorming sheet and any other notes you have written and re-read them all. Things may start to jump out at you. You may see things clearer. Your decision should be easier by this stage. If it’s still not and it’s a major one, go back through the above process. Some decisions can take weeks or months to finally be made. Don’t rush a decision that will be life-changing.

A final thought on decision making: Decisions are choices we make today. They can be changed tomorrow. Very few decisions are set in concrete. If you make a decision that you later find was not the best, you can change it. Okay, it might cause embarrassment and it may cost money, but at least you tried it. I remember when I hastily decided to take my children to Canada to live. I packed up everything, rented my house, took the kids out of school and flew half way around the world at great expense and discomfort. I thought it was the best thing at the time, but within a few weeks of my arrival in Vancouver, I regretted making that decision. I wasn’t able to return to Australia immediately, but I did eventually. My decision was not irretrievable. I did not have to live with the consequences of a bad decision. Within a few months my kids and I were back on a plane to Brisbane. That turned out to be a good decision and one I have never regretted.

My belief is that there are no absolute right or wrong decisions. We are all on a journey to learn various lessons. How that journey progresses depends on choices we make along the road. If you are meant to learn something, believe me, the universe will orchestrate a classroom scenerio so that you are exposed to the lesson, regardless of which choice you make. It’s true that some choices we make will bring more joy than others, but we have no way of knowing this (and if we missed out on some hidden joy, we won’t know about it, so why worry!) The main thing is that whichever choice we make, it will work out for our good in the end. It will either be good for us, or it will teach us something valuable that will lead to something good. My decision to move to Canada was full of valuable lessons, not only for me but for my children as well. It is only in hindsight that I can see those life lessons and be grateful for the opportunity to learn things I would never have learned had I remained where I was.