21 Tips on Simplifying Your Life  

“He who knows he has enough is rich.” Lao Tzu

Are you working at a job that you hate? Or working long hours but feeling unfulfilled? Are you creating a rod for your own back by living a lifestyle that keeps you stuck on the treadmill? Do you know how much it costs to keep your current lifestyle going? Have you ever worked out how many work hours it takes to pay for your mortgage, your car, or that new television? Is it worth it? What if you simplified everything? What would that look like? A smaller house perhaps? Less take away meals? More time to chill out with loved ones? And how would that new lifestyle feel? More relaxed? Peaceful? Less stressful?

Materialism and consumerism entices and sways us into its web of false happiness. We buy more stuff and clutter up our houses with piles of things that we don’t need, don’t really want and end up not using. The things are packed into drawers, cupboards and attics where they sit collecting dust and using up space. We have become compulsive and wasteful consumers. We spend more time shopping for things than we do playing with our kids. In a recent American study I was shocked to read that the majority of teenage girls list shopping as their favorite pastime. What a sad indictment on our society that we encourage shopping as a genuine pastime.

Have you ever thought of downsizing and making more time for pursuing what you love? What stops you? For many of us, we are so caught up in this consumeristic way of life that we don’t even think we have a choice. We have lives that are full of material well-being but perhaps not so full of emotional or spiritual well-being. We are bombarded everyday by messages on television or billboards or in magazines that tell us we need to do more to our external world in order to be happy. Either we must buy things to fulfill us or we must change something about ourselves (lose weight, lose wrinkles).

Have we all bought into this lie? Do we really believe that the more we have, the happier we will be? Statistics prove otherwise. We in the rich western societies have the highest rates of depression ever in history and it’s on the increase. As consumerism has increased, so too have the rates of depression.  We seem to be filling up our lives with material things and neglecting our inner wells. Our souls are barren and dry. The deep needs that we as humans have are not being met; needs like a sense of belonging and companionship. Or needs for creativity, relaxation, fun and play.

I think one of our greatest unmet needs in this modern Western world is for connection in genuine community. We live in ever more disconnected communities, creating our own little worlds behind closed doors. We watch tv, play the computer, eat, drink and have barbeques behind high fences. When we feel dissatisfied, we go to the shops and buy more things to create an environment that promotes even more isolation.

While in China a few years ago, I was impressed with their sense of community. One warm evening in X’ian, as I walked along the narrow tree-lined sidewalks, I had to zigzag my way around kids playing badminton and people sitting in old wicker chairs. Groups of men played cards or mahjong at makeshift tables (sometimes nothing more than a bit of old timber with a flattened cardboard box on it). No one was in a hurry. I watched as an elderly couple, out for their evening stroll, stopped to admire a baby lying in her mother’s arms. There was laughter, chatter and high energy. These people struggle for their daily existence. Food, clean water, electricity and sanitation are not taken for granted here. Yet, I noticed a sense of fun and enjoyment of life. What is that, I wondered? How can they be so happy and joyful when they have so little? Is it because they don’t know what they are missing? Or maybe, this is real life. Maybe their meager existence places them in the very marrow of life. Perhaps we in the west could learn a thing or two about living in the present: enjoying the laughter of a child, the companionship of friends, the simple pleasure of playing a game or chatting.

One of the happiest women I ever met was a 90 year old who lived in a little old timber house that was falling down around her. We drank tea and ate homemade jam drops in her humble kitchen with its old laminated benchtops and single sink (no dishwasher). She had lived there for 60 years and raised 4 sons and 2 daughters within the tiny 3 bedrooms. Widowed at the age of 50, she had little money, few possessions and no opportunities for travel or adventure in her life. Yet she described herself as lucky and blessed. She had a rich spiritual life, a full social calendar, and a constant stream of visitors. After raising her own 6 children, she had contributed to the upbringing of numerous grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Her life was overflowing with family get-togethers and celebrations for weddings, birthdays and christenings. Her happiness and joy in life was contagious and I wanted to know her secret. But there was no secret. She had found genuine well-being in the simple pleasures in life: having a cup of tea with a friend, bouncing a child on her lap, walking to the grocery store, taking the train into town to see a movie or play, or going to church on Sundays. She lived alone for 40 years, yet her life had been an exciting tapestry of activity and fulfillment.

I have also met my share of people over the years who have every conceivable material possession from beautiful homes, cars, boats, furniture and swimming pools, to designer clothes, jewerlry, all the latest CD’s and DVD’s, computer’s, mobile phones and digital cameras, yet they are dissatisfied with life. They feel empty and lacking in purpose.

When will we accept that material possessions are not what give us inner joy, happiness and fulfillment? Until we come to this realisation, we will forever remain on a treadmill of amassing more and better but never feeling good inside.

What makes you feel good on the inside? What brings you joy? Can you name 3 things that are guaranteed to make you feel happy and fulfilled? I bet they have something to do with relationships: family, friends, partners, even pets. It’s the simple pleasures in life that bring us the greatest joy: watching the sun set, sharing a meal with loved ones, going for an early morning walk with a beloved dog, being surrounded by your favourite music as you read, write or ponder, playing a game of dominoes or scrabble with a best friend, sitting under a tree reading the newspaper, eating your favourite foods at a picnic in a beautiful outdoor setting, walking in a rainforest or swimming in a lake or the ocean.

When my children were young (around 8 and 10), I was a single mother on a limited income and could just make ends meet. Some of the best memories I have of this time involve the 3 of us doing simple things: sitting on my queen size bed singing songs to my very amateur guitar strumming; making a batch of popcorn and watching a weekly hire video; lighting the old wood barbeque in the back yard and roasting hotdogs on sticks and then sitting around the fire watching the flames, chatting and laughing. Another simple activity was fishing at a local creek. After digging for worms in the garden and packing some sandwiches and drinks, the three of us would head off for a few hours to our favourite fishing hole. Sitting under the shade of gum trees, we rarely caught anything, but that didn’t matter. It was the hanging out together with a common goal that mattered. It created a memory. A happy memory.

I remember one Easter long weekend, we couldn’t afford to go away, so we went “backyard” camping! We set up the tent, camp stools, stove and lantern and pretended we were on holidays. The kids cooked baked beans on the gas stove and we ate under the stars, then we took turns telling stories as we lay in our sleeping bags inside the tent. Indeed, it is the simple things in life that fill us with joy, happiness and a sense of well-being.

Tips to Simplify Your Life

Simplicity is the key to happiness. But how do we find simplicity in this complex life?

First we need to think about how much we do consume and how much we really need. Then we need to cut back, de-clutter and stop buying so much. We must learn to tread more lightly on the earth. Then we need to spend our time doing things that have lasting fulfillment. Here are some ideas that you can try:

1. Donate: go through your drawers, cupboards, attic and basement and be ruthless in deciding which items you no longer need. Bag them up and make a trip to your local charity store and feel the freedom of giving your stuff away. Someone out there will need exactly what you give, so feel satisfied that you are helping others. 

2. Time/cost analysis: Work out how much you earn after tax on an hourly basis. Next time you are shopping for something new, divide the cost of the item with your hourly rate of pay and you will have an indication of how many hours you will have to work to own that item. It may be worth it to you, but some items are bought on a whim and we never use them, so this technique can prevent that. 

3. Needs vs Wants: Experiment for a month. Only buy the things you really need, not the things you want. It will make you more conscious of how many things you buy just because you want them. When you do buy something you need, buy products that are durable, repairable and recyclable. Refuse to buy plastics! Refuse to buy over packaged goods. Another great rule to follow is: for every item you bring into your home, get rid of something you already own! This simple rule prevents clutter build up and makes you think before you bring home yet another thing that you don’t really need. 

4. Live with less: cut back on spending in all areas, not just in purchasing things. For example, eliminate your daily coffee splurge and save $25 per week. That’s $1200 in a year, which could pay your car insurance, registration and a service! If you buy your lunch everyday, think how much that adds up to in a year and what you could use the money for. 

5. Focus on what you value: Avoid trivialities. Cut back on those small, distracting things in your life that aren’t important and instead focus on the things you value. If you decide that accumulating great wealth is one of your values, go for it! But if you value spending time with your family and friends, and you are working 80 hours a week, obviously you need to re-assess your life. Make a list of your Values  and prioritise your time around these values. 

6. Give time not money: How often do we buy gifts for friends or family that may never be used? How many times have you received a gift that you didn’t need or use? Instead of a material gift, try thinking of something intangible that your friend or family might need. For example, a night’s worth of babysitting for a friend, help in setting up a garden, writing a poem or letter to a loved one, taking your elderly parent on a country drive or a morning barbeque at the beach side, a day of fishing by a river, etc. 

7. Pursue inner nonmaterial dimensions to life: This can include spirituality, religion, personal growth or meditation. Create a rich inner life rather than a rich outer one! Spend more time in quiet solitude, reading inspirational material, meditating or writing in a journal. Go to a church, synagogue, mosque or your backyard and worship the god of your understanding. 

8. Forego meat and fish at least once a week: It is surprisingly easy to do, but we have been brought up to think we need meat everyday (some of us think we need it 3 times a day!) Borrow a vegetarian recipe book from the library. Or simply cook a vegetable stir-fry or curry using your normal recipe but without the meat or fish. Try eating a simple meal once a week, something like baked beans on toast or brown rice with steamed broccoli. Remind yourself that the majority of the people in the world eat like this everyday. 

9. Use the local library: Rather than purchasing books that collect dust once they are read, go to the library in your local area and borrow books and magazines. Most libraries also have a collection of DVD’s and CD’s. 

10. Grow your own: Start a garden in your backyard or on your balcony. Grow herbs and vegetables in organic material. Use tubs or pots on a balcony. Join with neighbours in a communal garden. Recycle organic waste. Make a compost heap. Start a worm farm. 

11. Use biodegradable cleaning agents: You don’t need all the fancy cleaning products that are full of chemicals with hard to pronounce names. Try using vinegar and water for cleaning windows, baking soda or borax for cleaning showers, toilets and sinks, and lemons or bunches of lavender for air fresheners. 

12. Use natural facial creams: Do away with all the expensive products that claim to reduce wrinkles, pimples or blemishes. Instead try any of the following oils: almond, apricot kernel, avocado, macadamia, rosehip, or wheatgerm. For a great wrinkle reducer combine the following oils: 5ml jojoba, 5ml avocado, and 1 ml wheatgerm and pat gently around eyes and face. 

13. Be Creative: Design and make your own clothing, paint pictures or make wall hangings for your walls, sew cushions or build tables. Use recycled goods, leftover items or things swapped with friends. Develop your inner creativity! 

14. Learn to say No: Eliminate commitments that do not fit in with your values and say no to any future commitments that do not fit in with these. Spend your time doing the things that really matter to you. See Saying No. 

15. De-clutter your activities: Try to reduce the activities you are involved in to 2 or 3 and do them with zeal and passion. Being involved in too many things creates confusion and a cluttered life. If you have children, use this same rule for them. Allow them 2 activities at a time (football and piano lessons). This way, you won’t be spending all your time taking them everywhere and they won’t feel like their lives are cluttered up! Make sure they have downtime. 

16. Turn off the television: This is a hard one for most people. Take an inventory for one week of what you watch and how many hours you spend watching the tv. This will give you a good idea of how much time and energy you are wasting in your life. Next week, look at the tv guide and circle the programs that are uplifting and/or learning experiences and commit to only watching these. If other family members watch a lot of tv, express your desire to change and either do something together (play a game, talk, go for a walk, take up dancing lessons etc) or go to another room and do something for yourself (read, write, do yoga, create something, etc). 

17. Reduce time in shopping centers: Have you ever noticed how walking through a shopping center creates desires you never knew you had? As you pass shop after shop, things seem to be calling you from a distance: “Wouldn’t I look great on you?” It is hard to resist impulse buying when everything is presented in such enticing ways. So, the best motto is: only go to shopping centers when you have a specific item in mind and you must go in the center to buy it. Try to park as close to the shop you will go to and then resist all temptations as you go on a b-line to purchase what you really need. If you are tempted, ask yourself “Do I honestly need that item?” If the answer is no, walk straight on by. You will feel so good when you arrive home. 

18. Shop locally: Do you drive across town to buy a product for a saving of a few dollars? Buying from your local area saves time, money (especially in time saved), and supports local business (and a sense of community). 

19. Say no to junk mail: It is easy to place a “No Junk Mail” sticker on your letter box, which eliminates masses of advertising seeping into your home. I know, some of you like reading junk mail, but you need to ask yourself, why? Isn’t it full of redundant things that you don’t really need, don’t want and certainly won’t use? Do an experiment: When you get the next brochure, be alert to your values as you look through the pages and when you feel yourself enticed by something, ask yourself “Will buying this item help to promote my sense of wellbeing and purpose in life?” 

20. Plan money-free activities: Visit the park or beach instead of the shopping center. Meet your family or friends at a park for a “bring your own” or shared picnic lunch. Stipulate that all food brought must be homemade and healthy! Make weekend plans with your kids that don’t require money. See who can come up with the best ideas for activities that follow a theme of fun, adventure, giving out, exercise, personal fulfillment, quiet time or productive time. For example this weekend might be spent gardening, making a wall hanging collage, going to grandma’s and playing chess, riding bikes to the local park, baking cookies and inviting friends over to share them. 

21. Create some downtime: We all need a break from the hustle and bustle of life. Take time out to just enjoy being. You don’t have to always be doing something. This goes for your children too. Give them the space to just enjoy simple things: laying on a hammock, reading or drawing, playing make believe. 

Now, if you decide to put some of these ideas into practice in your life, you may find that you don’t need to work such long hours at a job that you don’t feel happy doing. In fact, you may even downsize enough to make room for what you really desire in life. Perhaps you have always wanted to pursue something, but have not been able to see a way to do it. Maybe you would like more time at home with your children or more time to go surfing. Perhaps you have always wanted to write a book or learn belly dancing. Whatever it is, decide to use your simplified life to do the things that are important to you. This way, as you simplify, it won’t feel like a burden. Instead, it will feel exciting. If you don’t know what you would pursue if given the chance, have a look at the worksheets: Finding Your Purpose or Vision For a Perfect Life.

"Our life is frittered away by detail….simplify, simplify." (Thoreau)